2010: My 23rd year of life

This past year of life has been quite an exhausting one, though full of adventures ... exhausting nonetheless.

In late February I was in the process of moving out of the house I was renting with friends and moving back home with my parents. I simply was not happy where I was and wanted out, plus I was tired of being broke all the time for it. It was in this between time that I was at living out of my house and sleeping at my parents(because they had heat) that I was up late one night studying scripture(I believe I was studying prophecy) when all of the sudden I had a burning in my soul to just quit everything that was keeping me from doing, and being, who I wanted to be ... ultimately, who God was shaping me to be. I just prayed about it and felt a peace about things so I quit my job and started praying for more and more opportunities to serve God and His people. This was not an easy thing.

April rolls around and I am scraping by just playing randomly with a few different guys at retreats and weekend events, etc. I was at Don Juan's with my bro Bradley when I got a call from an unknown number. If you know me to any degree you know that I dodge unknown numbers in hopes of a voicemail. Turns out that a guy I knew from a friends birthday party was taking his band to Santiago, Chile for 3 weeks in May and June to play blues gospel music and work with the IMB there to do some outreach. Sean told me "Yea man, we need a bass player! We leave in 5 weeks and it cost $3000" I remember thinking of how awesome an opportunity this would be but ultimately I was left asking myself "can I raise that much money in that amount of time?" I ended up raising the money and making some money on the side to pay for my bills while I was gone. I had never established a relationship, or much of a friendship, with Sean and the guys prior to the trip but, like Sean says, building a friendship on the mission field is priceless. I have much love and respect for those guys. Its ironic because I am writing this I am getting birthday wishes from people we met in Chile.

We arrived back in the States from Chile just in time for me to get home, do laundry, pack, and head to church camp for 2 weeks. I played guitar for some friends and we lead the worship for both weeks of camp. I was thankful to be home and in the midst of english speaking people but I found myself seeking a lot of alone time with the Lord to just get my mind around things. I was going through some weird emotions and was not happy with so much of  my life back in Arkansas. That camp was a big growing process for me because throughout the course of the 2 weeks I heard a lot of stuff that was being taught that really did not line up with my biblical understanding of things. Does this mean that I completely under the bible and every other way of thinking is inaccurate? Not at all! But after pressing some of the teachers for an explanation for believing this or that I found out that most of these guys were just repeating what they had heard growing up. This raised a whole new sense of urgency in me to learn scripture just because I didn't want anyone painting an inaccurate view of God for me. Sound snobby? It shouldn't ... you should be this vigilant as well.

I ended up having to leave camp the second week a day early because I was booked to run a generator stage at Cornerstone with Sean. We also had booked a couple shows on the way up so I left camp thursday night, drove to Sean's, attempted to load the trailer, decided to go to sleep at 2am and wake up at 5am to load the trailer, and then leave for Kansas City. It was a bit stressful to say the least! We ended up playing at a music festival in Minnesota the day before Cornerstone and it was, by far, the best day of the summer for me! It was such a breath of fresh air. We stayed with some awesome people that night and got to hear about how God has been at work in their church planting process. At Pierced Fest we played rather early but we ended up staying all day because we all felt like God had us their for different reasons. We connected with some of the bands, a lot of the people, and we got to spend the day just listening to peoples struggles and encouraging them to seek the Lord! I literally spent the day talking about God, I loved it! Also, Jacob got in the pit for The Great Commission and did push ups! #win We left late that evening and made a B-line for Cornerstone and that was a high tension drive just to make it there in time to get our stage set up but amongst all of the calamity I just sat in the van with a thankful heart for what God had done in me and through me until that point. I was still trying to sort out some of my emotions I had been dealing with while in Chile, and at camp. But, God was still using me despite my situation and for that I was very thankful.

Cornerstone was awesome and frustrating all at the same time. I had been asked to focus my mindset and heart on being a servant for that week and I had been really seeking that. It was refreshing for me to get to be around people that are more like myself and to hear some good tunes. The thing about Cornerstone is that the noise is constant and that will exhaust you! However, that week God really opened me up to a lot of things he wanted from me and I was very confused because I was constantly busy, the noise was constant, and I didn't really have the time to just think. I remember taking walks just to think. Sometimes I would just get in the trailer, shut the door, and try to sort things out but really I would do most of my thinking at bedtime when all of the music was done. I was spiritually and physically exhausted by the end of the week because I would stay up late thinking and praying. You gotta do what ya gotta do!

We got back from Cornerstone just in time for me to do laundry, pack, and head out ... only this time I was headed to Houston, Texas with Dave Hassell. Turns out that the camp we were playing at was on the ocean. It was a pretty sweet set up! God really used that week to sharpen me. I ended up seeking out people to just talk about scripture with and just to get unbiased opinions on my struggles. I now have some amazing friends because of that experience. Also, that week I was really sensitive to the Spirit! I was walking around by myself one afternoon and God told me that he wanted me to understand sin more so I went to my room and opened up Genesis 3. I ended up writing about what the Lord taught me there, that blog is on Facebook. I was sad to leave that camp, but I am really excited to go back this summer. Another thing that was awesome about that trip was the ride home! For 2 reasons, 1: the 6+ hour conversation we had about the Holy Spirit. 2: We didn't run out of gas! #FTW

One-Camp to Honduras: I returned from camp in time to do laundry, pack, head to Monticello and play with Leyden and then head back to Hot Springs JUST IN TIME to leave for Honduras(We left at 2am) That trip was a bit awkward at first because I was with a group I did not really know and we were headed to the outskirts of a foreign country. That was an interesting trip. I met a lot of kids who are really interested in missions so I spent my time really encouraging them and pushing them. That was also one of the more dark weeks for me. Between viewing others misfortune and dealing with your own distress you find yourself stuck in the middle of a moral dilemma. I was exhausted for much of that trip mainly because for the first day of the actual mission trip I had been awake for 36 hours straight. We ended up toting 50 pound bags of food up these mountains to people and a few times the rain would make it impossible to drive up so we had to walk all the way. Between the emotional exhaustion, spiritual exhaustion, and now physical exhaustion I was just a mess. I spent a lot of time in my bunk alone listening to music and reading scripture. Ultimately it was really good thing for me because I met some awesome youth who are really ready to wreck shop for God's kingdom!

So, Im home from Honduras and thinking to myself "how awesome! I have nothing planned for a whole week! What should I do?"(the following week I lead worship with DHB at Tanako) I walk up stairs to see my mom and tell her about my summer but she greets me with this: "Hey, I met a guy at church who is doing a youth camp this week and needs leaders, he has heard good things about you and asked so I gave him your number!" My first thought was "I am exhausted" but I really felt lead to follow through and get a hold of the guy about it. I ended up leading a group of 9 and 10 year old inner city kids from all over Hot Springs. That was by far the most taxing week of the summer! Leaders had to get up at 5:30 and we had the whole day booked in the summer heat until 10pm! But, God really used that event to teach me how to communicate to young kids and he also brought me to some people that I grew up in church with who had not heard a word from me since high school. They were all ultimately shocked at who I had become, whatever! But, the camp coordinator turned out to be the parents of a dear friend of mine who had had a similar spiritual journey such as me. That was really encouraging for me. I miss those kids now that I  am writing this! I remember passing out Gideon bibles to the kids and one kid said "Seth, what's a Gideon? what's it look like?" ... too rad!

After all of this I was really exhausted and thankful that God used me like he did on such a wide range! I am glad I yielded to His leading back in February! But, God was not done yet, He never is! I ended up traveling some more with different guys. We lead worship, lead leadership seminars, and small groups. I started playing drums with Sean here and there ... I am nothing to talk about but who knows how God will use that in the future. I am becoming a Renaissance man ... its hard work but I really enjoy it! I know by the worlds standards I don't know much but I am coming to terms with that. I don't anticipate that I will leave much behind for people to divide amongst themselves. One thing I really struggle with now that I have met people from so many places is being home. Not because I don't like Hot Springs but I have found that people here aren't that anxious to hear me out, Im a voice of contrast. and when I have opinions they are strong ... ultimately this isn't completely my fault, people just arent used to that. I am learning more and more as I go. One thing I am really having trouble getting used to is compliments. I am terrible at receiving things. I really wish I could be the bubbly positive person everyone wants me to be but thats just not who I am. I cant ignore the big picture. Its tough work being me but I don't know anyone else who does it quite like me.

So there is my 23rd year of life. Its been insane, hard, encouraging, and exhausting but I cant trade it so ill take it and make it the best I can!