Crucify the bastard ...

Lately I have been asking myself a question; a question that is becoming more and more necessary for me to ask. I truly want to reflect Jesus and I want to experience that transformation from self-consumed indulgence to an "other-oriented" heart and mind. Here is what I do not want: I don't want to fool myself into believing that to achieve this means that I must simply swallow how I truly feel, at which point this transformation will come because I have exemplified some form of pseudo-ignorance. I want the real thing- not the emotional manipulation that we are used to. I don't want to feel one way and act another way. Most of all, when I am hurting, I do not want to feel obligated to just smile- I want to desire to smile. I don't want any faking ... from myself and from others. I want the things we talk about to be true. I want the people we are to be true. No obligations.

There is a bastard in me- a person who wants revenge, who wants to achieve great things, He wants comfort, and He wants to be respected. This person wants to be right, and he wants to be left alone. But, this person is raging war with the true person I want to be. (sounds like dualism on a personal level) I find myself crucifying this bastard all of the time. He is not wanted and I have no desire to keep him and nurture him. I want him dead, on a cross- a sport for the crows.

I have to constantly sift through my thoughts and emotions to avoid this bastards influence. So, I ask you: Who is the bastard in you that you need to crucify?

Knowing ...

I have been thinking about this recently and I guess its about time I wrote a blog about it. 

Have you ever wondered what it meant when the writers of Scripture used the term "knew" like in Genesis 4:1; 1 Samuel 1:19; or Matthew 1:25? In this context it is speaking to a sexual intimacy but I want to stretch this a little further and suggest that "knowing" another, sexual intercourse aside, is exactly what God wants for us and the communities that we inhabit. This vernacular of "knowing" is how I understand foreknowledge when it is spoken of in the NT- "God fore-loved us before the foundation of the earth." I think all of us can agree that there is a bond that happens between 2 individuals when they are honest and vulnerable with one another- within the context of these verses we could use the word naked. I think that there is something to all of this that we all may know but may not realize- I am walking into this realization myself- that is this: because of Jesus' death we have been reconciled back to God, we do not need a high priest to offer up a sacrifice for our sins now because Jesus was the high priest who became the spot less lamb that justified us despite our sin. We can know God directly because of Jesus. Most of the time when I read someone's religious views on facebook it says something to the effect of "its not a religion, its a relationship" and I agree. So if we use this relationship between God and man (which is the definition of theology) to model the rest of our relationships, how then should we model our relationships, which are intended to be a reflection of the triune love of God? I think most of my failed relationships have been the product of someone who isn't being honest. Please do not assume that because I write this blog that I am always forthcoming with my emotions and feelings. I try ...

The reason I pose the question is because I realize how scared we all are. We all have baggage and we are all scared of what people will think of us if that baggage is made known. This isn't intended to be directed at any certain type of person- it is intended for all people. If you are completely open with our hearts- great. But, if someone is open with you about their heart- guard it! It has been my growing conviction that when people expose their baggage to me it only amplifies the love and affection I previously had for them. Remember we are called to humble ourselves, serve others, and associate with the lowly! I want to love and be loved; I believe this is what God made us for. Sorry, Chris Tomlin! (not really) 

This is an encouragement to remember that God knows us and we are to know God. We are to bear his image. Maybe we can work towards being vulnerable with one another, thereby, bonding together! I just know that there is something to be learned from all of this. 

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’-Jesus (Matthew 7:21-23)

WARNING: You may not like what you find ... love them anyways. If you can't do it in love, don't do it! God, I need to hear that as much as anyone!

Seth