A formidable foe and the Sovereign God.

Slaying Leviathan; Cosmic warfare and the preservation and restoration of creation:


Leviathan is alive and well on planet earth. But the central point of such expressions was not simply to assert a piece of theoretical information the sheer existence of these various cosmic chaos creatures (Leviathan, Behemoth, Rahab, Yamm). This much at the time everyone took for granted. Rather, these hymns express the authors perception that the cosmos is besieged at a structural level with forces of evil that God himself must battle: evil is not a minor anomalous occurrence on the otherwise pristine stage of the world. They also express the deep biblical conviction that this same warfare is played out in the life of God's children as they confront their enemies.


     This cosmic warfare is not a things of the past, nor is it a war that occurs "in the heavenlies," nor is it a war that God fights alone. To the contrary, the thrust of this last group of passages is to proclaim that this war is a present struggle, it occurs in human history, and it very much involves the human race, especially those who know God. The insight is that all who name the name of the Lord are called to identify and resist, in the power of God, the structural forces of evil that work to thwart God's plan for the earth in general and for humanity in particular. When we fight, we do not do so on our own power, but God himself reenacts his primal victory over these destructive forces through us. We might (and must) express and apply this ancient biblical conviction in our own times by identifying and then resisting "the cosmic serpent" in the structural evil that besieges our own culture and the church of God. For example, when we resist spiritual complacency and the empty religiosity that has deeply infected much of Western Christianity at a structural level, we participate in God's cosmic battle with Leviathan. When we fight the ongoing tendency to compromise the radicality of the gospel by identifying it with this or that political ideology, or by allowing it to be taken hostage by this or that cultural ideal or movement, we are resisting "the twisting serpent." But Israel's battle with hostile waters were not always religious in nature, and neither are ours. When we "take up arms" against corporate greed, and when we follow the call of the Lord in feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, sheltering the homeless, befriending the guilty, embracing the socially repulsive, and siding with victims, we are participating in God's cosmic struggle against cosmic chaotic forces of destruction.  Similarly, when we strive to be responsible pg stewards of the earth we were originally given responsibility over (Gen.1:28-29) and resist the fallen tendency to rape it for our own convenience, we are fighting anti-creation forces that are attempting to thwart God's plan for the earth.


     Moreover, when we refuse to benefit from another cultures (or our own) slave labor, and we come against governments that systematically oppress the masses, we are taking the arms against Rahab. When we expose and confront the many subtle forms structural hatred that presently choke our own culture, whether is the form of systematic prejudice, institutional injustice, or the demonization of other peoples in the name of nationalism, we participate with God in the same spiritual battle that has been going on since the dawn of history. In God's power, we are mandated to join in the fight.


(taken from "God at War" by Gregory A. Boyd pg.89-90)


     The supremacy of Yahweh over these cosmic forces was always emphasized, but in contrast to the later classical-philosophical tradition, this was never taken to mean that the opposition of these forces was not ultimately real. There was, in fact, genuine battles Yahweh had to fight! As several exegetes have noted, the whole of the Old Testaments strong monarchial theology presupposes this much. On what basis could one celebrate a victorious military ruler, as the Old Testament frequently speaks of Yahweh, if there were no genuine enemies for the ruler to conquer? "The concept of a military ruler," Lindstrom argues, "presupposes that there is someone to defeat." Indeed, far from undermining the genuineness of Yahweh's battle with foes, Levenson rightly argues that in this tradition Yahweh's "victory is only meaningful if his foe is formidable." And again: "What makes this a confession of faith in YHWH's mastery rather than a shallow truism is the survival of those potent forces of chaos that were subjugated and domesticated at creation." This "survival of ... potent forces of chaos" is what permits classifying the Old Testament view as a warfare worldview. Yahweh's battles are not simply apparent, nor are they simply in the past: they are, for these authors, very real, and they are present, and they are even yet future. While some conservative exegetes fear that acknowledging the ongoing reality of this cosmic reality compromises Yahweh's "absolute sovereignty," the point of this early Old Testament tradition is to portray Yahweh's sovereignty as being all the greater precisely because he has engaged in such conflict and has been victorious. This gives them confidence that he shall do so again in the future.


     In other words, Yahweh's sovereignty is no easy manipulation of controlled puppets; it is, rather, an admirable sovereignty that is won in the face of genuine, powerful, opposing forces which we humans could never begin to resist in our own power. This divine ability is one of the characteristics that distinguish Yahweh from humans and make him praiseworthy. We cannot capture Behemoth or pierce his nose (Job 40:24)  Nor can we "press down (Leviathan's) tongue with a cord" or " put a rope in his nose" (Job 41:1-2) Such monster taming feats of valor are reserved for the one true God alone. All of this also implies that these authors understand the cosmic battles Yahweh engages in to be provisional. God's cosmic foes, and real and as formidable as they may be, are not ultimate. Levenson again expresses the well (referring here to Psalm 74):
     the author ... acknowledges the reality of militant, triumphant, and persistent evil, but he steadfastly and resolutely refuses to accept this reality as final and absolute. Instead, he challenges Yahweh to act like the hero of old, to conform to his magisterial nature.


(taken from "God at War" by Gregory A. Boyd pg. 98-99)


Later on Boyd says:


"This insight, combines with the conviction that the Creator is all-holy and thus does not himself will evil, leads inexorably to the conclusion that these cosmic forces have made themselves evil. They have freely rebelled against their Creator, and thus ought not to be as they now are."


Maybe this is something someone needs to hear. Instead of waiting out the storm we should get involved in the battle!

The resounding truth and our dull roars.

I think today I grasped the ultimate realization of something. God is teaching me things all the time, availing my eyes to new perspectives, and setting my sails for many new lands ... maybe not geographically, must most assuredly a venture of the mind into new paradigms and a wider vision for His kingdom. I often wonder "why me? why should I be the one to receive such things that trouble me so?" And, as always I find myself feeling that same ole familiar feeling, that feeling in my heart thats telling me that to possess such knowledge will ultimately grieve me, and should I be willing to grasp this knowledge, this broader vision, I will become responsible for a portion of its outcome. 

And as I parallel all of this with my relationship to people I often wonder "what do I do?" I love my friends very very much. I even acquire these emotional attachments to people who my friends love simply because I see how they affect them, either positively or negatively, and I am vigilant towards these things. I call it the "big brother complex".  I love to see how friends sharpen one another, though my idea of sharpening may be quite different from that of the people I have met. At some point our relationships have to make the mature move from the realm of laughter and "feel goods" into the realm of duty. We owe our friends these things as stewards of there time, emotions, and trust. We cannot expect community to sustain itself in an environment conducive to God and His kingdom where we simply exercise certain aspects and disregard others. I think that if what I am saying is really sinking in then the initial question will be "What about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you?" My response to that is judging by what I have seen in so many different relationships, on so many different levels, I am seeing that that is exactly that is happening. No one is initiating anything new so therefore when things like confrontation come about we turn a deaf ear to it. They simply say "this is comfortable, I like it here, lets keep things at a dull roar". The ultimately disturbing thing that God is revealing to me is that in our lack of wholeness within the community of God, His kingdom, we are ultimately suppressing our abilities to share the gospel with those outside the community. This would also explain a portion of why our attempts to go out and into the world have often come to ruin because of divisions within the body. Think, our mission to proclaim the gospel to everyone is meant to be heard by EVERYONE! This includes you and I and we cannot allow our lack of willingness to participate in that coming Kingdom to go unnoticed, to simply be brushed aside. 

The good bishop says it best ... 

"Don't so stress the doctrine of your own salvation that you fail to see what you are being saved for."-NT Wright

Observations of Love

I have been making some observations lately and I am noticing a newer, deeper side to people that has been very hazy to me until now. What follows are my experiences and thoughts from recent interactions and observations ...

A group of friends and myself had a bit of a falling out with a good friend of ours. He had doubled back on his word and mislead us as a group. After months of silence from the individual I decided to text him and make time to sit down with him, not to address any issues but just to see how he was doing, hear about his life, and see where he was at. He ended up telling me that he really desired to reconcile things with our group but he had been very reluctant to do so for a few reasons. After relaying this info to the other guys involved I realized that reconciliation was something that had been attempted immediately following the confusion but had not been a mutual feeling between the 2 parties involved. After hearing from both sides I felt like some of the guys were being bull headed about this whole thing and I tried to reason with them and as we talked I realized that there was a bit of an open wound there that was made from a bit of a different angel than I had been viewing this whole thing and I realized something. The big difference between my relationship with the individual and the other guys was that I had nearly nothing invested in him and this made a huge difference. You would think that through your time spent with someone that you would develop a stronger tie to them which would avail itself in the ways of greater grace and compassion towards them. However, there is a flip side to that. When you have the grace to seek reconciliation, the compassion to lay aside differences and move forward, and much time invested in the personhood of an individual there is an aspect of betrayal that comes about in such a scenario as this.

I love to spend time with people. I hardly ever get tangible gifts for people, its just not me. Instead, I usually take people out for dinner, or something to that effect where I can spend time with them developing a friendship and a concern for them personally! I realize that when people have betrayed me in the past or just simply "dealt me the dirty hand" that there is a bit of discernment that comes into frame and it will take a bit of resilience through the issue to get it back to where it needs to be. People often think that forgiveness is an instantaneous thing. We all know that the words we speak are often met with a bit of a mental opposition, to convince our minds and hearts that we can trust someone who has betrayed us is a process. I think God uses pain and suffering to teach us a lot and we need to be mindful of that in our relationships. So, I say all of this to make the point that for the lack of compassion and grace that I saw in my friends toward our brother I realize that it is actually a resilience to being hurt again. We HAVE to realize that just forgiving is separate from being forgiven, but reconciliation is a responsibility of both parties. So, to reiterate my point ... We must be patient through all things to guard ourselves and to test the commitment of others to the reconciliation process. Like I said before, this will take some time. We need to be generous with our time and who, and what, we invest it in! But, we also need to be guardians of the time that others have entrusted us with!

A dear friend of mine has been in a really weird place in life as of late. As I look back on my relationship with this person I can now see how this person has made the moves toward the present stage that  they find themselves in now. I realize that this person was receiving love, encouragement, compassion, and grace from 2 separate groups who hold separate world-views. The problem was not with either side necessarily rather it was with the individual caught in the middle, my friend. Neither side necessary lacked any of these virtues. The real problem was that my friend was only willing to accept the love from one. This has made it very hard to communicate and trust this person. So where we look at things from our christian mindset we think "we weren't loving enough and we drove this person out" but thats not the whole story. Yes, we can always exhibit more and more love to others but we also have to be willing to accept that being part of a loving community will be uncomfortable to a certain degree and will involve a good bit of humility in order to maintain. Maybe our problem is that we expect things to be easy?

 I will say that from my side of things that the side that I occupy and represent, that of Christ Jesus, we seek to maintain the standard of holiness and righteousness and as an adherent to that standard you have to realize that that will create tension should you, and others in that same community, not strive for that daily! Why have we ever become comfortable with unrighteousness and still maintain that we are a part of the body of Christ? In the world we live in we have this idea that confrontation is somehow not a sign of compassion. If one did not care about the individual we wouldn't oblige them with such a love. When someone confronts you about something in your life you need to be mindful that your automatic thoughts are going to be along the lines of "they don't know me" or "they have it all wrong, they just thing they know how things are" ... in other words your initial mindset will be resilient to hear them for what they are truly saying. We all know this about ourselves and we can assume that when we confront others that the mindset of the one you are confronting will be no different. We then realize that for us to actually confront others we have to accept a certain sacrifice. And as the ones being confronted we need to realize that the people confronting us are sacrificing something in order to help us. To solidify my point I will say that when we believe that there is a "lack" of compassion or grace in others we need to stop comparing them to others and see them for the grace and compassion that they are actually exhibiting. We often compare everyone and everything to something else when we should allow people to speak for themselves.

So in our attempts to love others, and measure things likes grace and compassion we need to mindful that we should compare that grace to that individual. The potter is expressing his love for us in that he disciplines us and convicts us of our unrighteousness. We need to realize, me especially, that everyone is a piece of work and we should be full of discernment, sober-minded, and patient, if not reluctant, to compare others to ourselves, or someone else. Instead, we should compare ourselves to Jesus because he is the incarnate word of God, the standard of righteousness exemplified for all of creation! Let us be challenged and encouraged by others in our midst, never ceasing to have one without the other.

'If we are the standard nothing can save us"-xdeathstarx

Seasons

Ever wonder if you missed it?

I feel like life comes at me in seasons. Some seasons are brief and only last for a short period of time, though they leave a longer lasting impression, while others are more permanent in a sense. By permanent I mean that they are door ways to your future, not merely a lesson you must learn but rather a path you must walk. These seasons are for the most part optional ... you can either take them, or abandon them, succeed at them, or even fail in the midst of devotion. Either way, none of these seasons are easy, every season is a fight. I am realizing that as I turn 24 I have missed many door ways in my past, though I have taken many profitable ones, I still feel as if I am in a season of suspension because of the poor choices I made in the past ... more frustratingly, the decisions others have made. You see, everyone of us has a will, and our individual wills are raging battle against everyone else's will, including God's at times.

I feel like I am stuck in the debris of many failed seasons that are overlapping one another, though there are seasons that produce much harvest, these seasons of failure are suffocating me and its tiresome to strive through the "day to day" battles with a suspended stagnant atmosphere hovering above your every move, thought, and encounter. I find myself wondering "Have I come out of this season or that season enough to expand my bounds of fellowship with others or will these new encounters bring more heartache and strife to overcome? Should I just stay quiet or walk on by?" It painstakingly obvious to me that the more people I allow into my life the more I will hurt. Some friendships are easy, thats fine. Others are a constant fight and I often wonder just what exactly is the problem? Is the problem seated in the corner of the individuals or is it something much bigger than us that is creating division? Sometimes it is both.

So, I find myself burdened by the seasons ... by the very changing of leaves, the turning of pages, and growing of distance between me and my community of friends ... that, as times goes on, feel more like acquaintances then bonds of brotherhood or sisterhood. I find myself walking around with my guard up all the time, not trusting anyone, always questioning everyone, and everything! Fearing the worst for my comrades ... that I will never be able to fit any societal mold. I understand people. I observe them. I can assess over time why they are the way they are for the most part and while I am still there for them I feel like every one else's assumptions of me are very very far from reality. Periodically I have people confront me, which is nice for a change, about things I have said and done in the past. I am forever thankful that people are honest with me but often times I find that people confuse being honest with being right. Is it hard to accept that your perception may have been a little off? What confounds me is that in these instances of confrontation I am expected to be the one exemplifying humility, grace, compassion etc. But, that seems completely contrary to what others have told me when I have confronted them about certain things in the past. Ultimately, there is a double standard being spread amongst me and I am not too happy about it. Really, I hate that I feel a release from venting my frustrations to this futile blog in hopes that it will fall at the doorstep of the guilty parties but, nonetheless, I still type these words.

I have fears. My fear is being trapped by the pull of society. I often look at the outcome and the price it takes to achieve certain goals in life and I feel despair because I am not sure that I am capable of producing what it takes ... after all, some realities seem so distant for me. Now, I do not doubt myself because I fear that I am incapable but rather because the price would be something contrary to who I am and this seems to be some what of a tacked on interest rate. Yet, I press on and I go through life swinging. I try to help as many people as possible and though at this present season in life I am made the fool in the knowledge of my surroundings I pray that through the confrontations, through the strong opinions, through the constant lack of dissatisfaction, that it will one day make sense to those who find a person like me to be lacking in grace, and compassion. I pray that the backdrop to which you attach these virtues is broadened in the future.

I fear abandonment. One season in my life that hasn't been a constant is my friendships. I have gone through many friends. I have allowed people to get close to me, and I to them, only to have them abandon me. I don't know what else I can offer people sometimes ... I give all that I can, and not to toot my own horn but its a hell of a lot more than I see others giving. Again, I think the backdrop to which we view a thing like friendship has been tarnished in light of society. I hear people say "God loves us right where we are at" but it doesn't end there! I don't know what your personal relationship with God has been like but never has it been stationary for me! I think this is how I view my friendships. Yes, I love you despite your flaws, like you love me, but if we truly love one another will we really let the other stay where they are at? Or, will we push one another? Do people still want to grow or do people just want to simply bleed in with others to the point that they go unnoticed? If you have a desire to be my friend you will never have to worry about not being noticed ... in fact, quite the opposite. I am realizing that many people want my time, but rarely do they want to hear what I have to say. I just look at people and think "God, how can this possibly be part of your plan?"

So, in my attempts to re-evaluate myself, and to analyze everything that has trumped me spirit thus far, especially in my recent life, I have sought silence and solitude. I have spent the past few weeks locked away in my room eating yogurt and grits to get by. I have spent countless hours reading scripture, watching podcast, reading blogs, writing blogs, praying, and just thinking. What do I have to show for this time? more. questions. I will not be leaving my isolated state of being until I find resolve. I have a feeling in my gut that many people need to do the same. They seem to be ok with the idea that if they can wait out the storm than the issues are resolved. I can not stand to go through life guessing at everything like so many ... there is something, maybe even another season, I am missing ...

Ephesians 1&2

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."-Ephesians 1:3-10


I have been looking at this bit of scripture for some time now and the same questions always come to mind, "Why do people read this and believe that only the elect are eligible for salvation?" and, "What is it that we are missing about grace?". I will break this bit of scripture down and seek to explain my interpretation of the text to you. Here goes something ...


"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the earth."-Verse 3&4


     The thing about this text that always grabs everyones attention is the statement "even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the earth" which I must say is an odd statement and would definitely support the idea that believers were elected into salvation while others were not. But, I believe this is not what Paul was trying to communicate to the church of Ephesus, or anyone for that matter. Much of our thinking about statements with the words "elect' or "predestined" are usually seen through the blemished lens of the augustinian church. Obviously, his views of such text have been very influential. It took some 300 years before anyone in church history interpreted the New Testament to teach that salvation was for some and not all. 


"In keeping with the Jewish practice of his day, I think Paul was speaking of a corporate election in this passage. When Jews thought of election or predestination, they thought primarily of the nation of Israel. Israel as a nation was elected (not for salvation, but for service). But this didn’t mean that every individual born into Israel was part of God’s chosen people. Only those who kept covenant with God were considered “true Israelites.”"-Greg Boyd


The same principles of "keeping covenant" are what we see in our faith in Christ (Matt 24:13; 1 Corinthians 1:18; 15:2; 2 Corinthians 2:15; 2 Timothy 2:11-13). There is an expectation of a future justification that is seen in all of these text, it is what NT Wright calls "Justification by the faithfulness in the Messiah". On this topic of faithfulness Wright says, "one does not cancel out the other". In fact if you read verses 3 and 4 correctly I believe you get your answer without pulling in any ideas of God that are separate from His being. Is it shocking to us that God would choose us In Christ from the foundation of the Earth? I think we all believe that God is omniscient and could have foreseen the fall, and thus had a way to set things right. In fact in Genesis 3 when God judges the guilty parties he announces in verse 15 what is known as the "protoevangelium", this being the first mention of the Gospel of Christ ever. So, we can in fact rest assured that God had a way to put things back to right. How did he plan to accomplish all of this? That answer is pretty complex but ultimately that solution would be brought forth through the nation of Israel and by the Messiah, God's only son who was the propitiation for our sin. So when we read this text we are all left wondering "who? who did God elect?" That answer is found in Jesus. Much of scripture tells us that salvation is for all, but when we read passages such as this we tend to forget all of that and, instead, view God through the lens of the Augustinian, or Reformed, lens.


So why can we not read this and know that we were all chosen in Christ before the foundation of the Earth to be holy and blameless before Him? Personally, verses 7-10 seem to summarize everything that has been mention prior to it. 


"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."-verses 7-10


It seems to me that most will read this text and the phrase "according to His purpose" will jump out along with the prior statements referring to the elect and we will draw the conclusion that "God's purpose is that the elect will be saved because of Jesus". Actually, we are drawing the line in the sand and, to my understanding, we are preaching an incomplete gospel. The curious thing about the phrase "according to His purpose" is that it comes directly after the statement the "mystery of his will" but it is concluded in this text that this purpose was "set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth." 


So where do we go from here? Well, we start by looking at Jesus! God's purpose was fulfilled in Jesus! Greg Boyd says it best when he says:


"What God chose from the foundation of the world was that whoever is IN Christ will be holy & blameless."-Greg Boyd


There is one more thing I want to make mention of briefly before ending this blog and that is the statement in verse 7 that says "according to the riches of His grace". I am wrestling with the idea that we have misunderstood grace and that seems to be the big hang up for people caught in such a "debate". If we jumped forward to Ephesians 2:4-9 we read that: "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."


All of these marvelous things like God's rich mercy, and His great love were all fulfilled in Jesus. The reason I believe that we are misunderstanding grace is because we read that "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." and we conclude that the only reason people believe is because of God's grace on the elect. Correct me if I am wrong but the text reads that "For by grace you have been saved THROUGH FAITH", phrases such as "and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works" is mentioned to correct the Jewish understanding of a righteousness by works as opposed to the new covenant "righteousness by faith" found only in Christ Jesus. So, Paul is saying "you are not saved because of your good deeds, or by your faithfulness to adhere to the laws of Moses but because you put your faith in Jesus".


So I ask, is faith the prerequisite for saving grace as compared to common grace?  I believe so. Faith in Christ is the foundation for everything in the New Testament. But, its because of the grace extended to us by God through Jesus that any of us have hope for salvation. And, if any Reformed theologians read this I would be interested to hear how all of this parallels to Calvin's I in the acronym "Tulip" that states that grace is irresistible. How can that possibly be so?

Gaining nothing ...

An old friend of mine posted this video on Facebook yesterday. Memories of us watching this same video some years ago flooded me and I remembered my dismay as to what the point of all of this was. However confused I was that my friends found this to be hilarious I now know why. Entertaining a sinful heart can veil our eyes. Its not that is was actually funny, its that what they saw as funny was in line with their perception or what was actual to them. I guess it was funny to see an extremely obese man scream about his wife being lazy but really there is a much bigger problem than an "insubordinate" wife ... there is a total lack of love. Every time I see this I get a knot in my stomach and I pray that we all get a higher, and clearer vision of reality. 

2010: My 23rd year of life

This past year of life has been quite an exhausting one, though full of adventures ... exhausting nonetheless.

In late February I was in the process of moving out of the house I was renting with friends and moving back home with my parents. I simply was not happy where I was and wanted out, plus I was tired of being broke all the time for it. It was in this between time that I was at living out of my house and sleeping at my parents(because they had heat) that I was up late one night studying scripture(I believe I was studying prophecy) when all of the sudden I had a burning in my soul to just quit everything that was keeping me from doing, and being, who I wanted to be ... ultimately, who God was shaping me to be. I just prayed about it and felt a peace about things so I quit my job and started praying for more and more opportunities to serve God and His people. This was not an easy thing.

April rolls around and I am scraping by just playing randomly with a few different guys at retreats and weekend events, etc. I was at Don Juan's with my bro Bradley when I got a call from an unknown number. If you know me to any degree you know that I dodge unknown numbers in hopes of a voicemail. Turns out that a guy I knew from a friends birthday party was taking his band to Santiago, Chile for 3 weeks in May and June to play blues gospel music and work with the IMB there to do some outreach. Sean told me "Yea man, we need a bass player! We leave in 5 weeks and it cost $3000" I remember thinking of how awesome an opportunity this would be but ultimately I was left asking myself "can I raise that much money in that amount of time?" I ended up raising the money and making some money on the side to pay for my bills while I was gone. I had never established a relationship, or much of a friendship, with Sean and the guys prior to the trip but, like Sean says, building a friendship on the mission field is priceless. I have much love and respect for those guys. Its ironic because I am writing this I am getting birthday wishes from people we met in Chile.

We arrived back in the States from Chile just in time for me to get home, do laundry, pack, and head to church camp for 2 weeks. I played guitar for some friends and we lead the worship for both weeks of camp. I was thankful to be home and in the midst of english speaking people but I found myself seeking a lot of alone time with the Lord to just get my mind around things. I was going through some weird emotions and was not happy with so much of  my life back in Arkansas. That camp was a big growing process for me because throughout the course of the 2 weeks I heard a lot of stuff that was being taught that really did not line up with my biblical understanding of things. Does this mean that I completely under the bible and every other way of thinking is inaccurate? Not at all! But after pressing some of the teachers for an explanation for believing this or that I found out that most of these guys were just repeating what they had heard growing up. This raised a whole new sense of urgency in me to learn scripture just because I didn't want anyone painting an inaccurate view of God for me. Sound snobby? It shouldn't ... you should be this vigilant as well.

I ended up having to leave camp the second week a day early because I was booked to run a generator stage at Cornerstone with Sean. We also had booked a couple shows on the way up so I left camp thursday night, drove to Sean's, attempted to load the trailer, decided to go to sleep at 2am and wake up at 5am to load the trailer, and then leave for Kansas City. It was a bit stressful to say the least! We ended up playing at a music festival in Minnesota the day before Cornerstone and it was, by far, the best day of the summer for me! It was such a breath of fresh air. We stayed with some awesome people that night and got to hear about how God has been at work in their church planting process. At Pierced Fest we played rather early but we ended up staying all day because we all felt like God had us their for different reasons. We connected with some of the bands, a lot of the people, and we got to spend the day just listening to peoples struggles and encouraging them to seek the Lord! I literally spent the day talking about God, I loved it! Also, Jacob got in the pit for The Great Commission and did push ups! #win We left late that evening and made a B-line for Cornerstone and that was a high tension drive just to make it there in time to get our stage set up but amongst all of the calamity I just sat in the van with a thankful heart for what God had done in me and through me until that point. I was still trying to sort out some of my emotions I had been dealing with while in Chile, and at camp. But, God was still using me despite my situation and for that I was very thankful.

Cornerstone was awesome and frustrating all at the same time. I had been asked to focus my mindset and heart on being a servant for that week and I had been really seeking that. It was refreshing for me to get to be around people that are more like myself and to hear some good tunes. The thing about Cornerstone is that the noise is constant and that will exhaust you! However, that week God really opened me up to a lot of things he wanted from me and I was very confused because I was constantly busy, the noise was constant, and I didn't really have the time to just think. I remember taking walks just to think. Sometimes I would just get in the trailer, shut the door, and try to sort things out but really I would do most of my thinking at bedtime when all of the music was done. I was spiritually and physically exhausted by the end of the week because I would stay up late thinking and praying. You gotta do what ya gotta do!

We got back from Cornerstone just in time for me to do laundry, pack, and head out ... only this time I was headed to Houston, Texas with Dave Hassell. Turns out that the camp we were playing at was on the ocean. It was a pretty sweet set up! God really used that week to sharpen me. I ended up seeking out people to just talk about scripture with and just to get unbiased opinions on my struggles. I now have some amazing friends because of that experience. Also, that week I was really sensitive to the Spirit! I was walking around by myself one afternoon and God told me that he wanted me to understand sin more so I went to my room and opened up Genesis 3. I ended up writing about what the Lord taught me there, that blog is on Facebook. I was sad to leave that camp, but I am really excited to go back this summer. Another thing that was awesome about that trip was the ride home! For 2 reasons, 1: the 6+ hour conversation we had about the Holy Spirit. 2: We didn't run out of gas! #FTW

One-Camp to Honduras: I returned from camp in time to do laundry, pack, head to Monticello and play with Leyden and then head back to Hot Springs JUST IN TIME to leave for Honduras(We left at 2am) That trip was a bit awkward at first because I was with a group I did not really know and we were headed to the outskirts of a foreign country. That was an interesting trip. I met a lot of kids who are really interested in missions so I spent my time really encouraging them and pushing them. That was also one of the more dark weeks for me. Between viewing others misfortune and dealing with your own distress you find yourself stuck in the middle of a moral dilemma. I was exhausted for much of that trip mainly because for the first day of the actual mission trip I had been awake for 36 hours straight. We ended up toting 50 pound bags of food up these mountains to people and a few times the rain would make it impossible to drive up so we had to walk all the way. Between the emotional exhaustion, spiritual exhaustion, and now physical exhaustion I was just a mess. I spent a lot of time in my bunk alone listening to music and reading scripture. Ultimately it was really good thing for me because I met some awesome youth who are really ready to wreck shop for God's kingdom!

So, Im home from Honduras and thinking to myself "how awesome! I have nothing planned for a whole week! What should I do?"(the following week I lead worship with DHB at Tanako) I walk up stairs to see my mom and tell her about my summer but she greets me with this: "Hey, I met a guy at church who is doing a youth camp this week and needs leaders, he has heard good things about you and asked so I gave him your number!" My first thought was "I am exhausted" but I really felt lead to follow through and get a hold of the guy about it. I ended up leading a group of 9 and 10 year old inner city kids from all over Hot Springs. That was by far the most taxing week of the summer! Leaders had to get up at 5:30 and we had the whole day booked in the summer heat until 10pm! But, God really used that event to teach me how to communicate to young kids and he also brought me to some people that I grew up in church with who had not heard a word from me since high school. They were all ultimately shocked at who I had become, whatever! But, the camp coordinator turned out to be the parents of a dear friend of mine who had had a similar spiritual journey such as me. That was really encouraging for me. I miss those kids now that I  am writing this! I remember passing out Gideon bibles to the kids and one kid said "Seth, what's a Gideon? what's it look like?" ... too rad!

After all of this I was really exhausted and thankful that God used me like he did on such a wide range! I am glad I yielded to His leading back in February! But, God was not done yet, He never is! I ended up traveling some more with different guys. We lead worship, lead leadership seminars, and small groups. I started playing drums with Sean here and there ... I am nothing to talk about but who knows how God will use that in the future. I am becoming a Renaissance man ... its hard work but I really enjoy it! I know by the worlds standards I don't know much but I am coming to terms with that. I don't anticipate that I will leave much behind for people to divide amongst themselves. One thing I really struggle with now that I have met people from so many places is being home. Not because I don't like Hot Springs but I have found that people here aren't that anxious to hear me out, Im a voice of contrast. and when I have opinions they are strong ... ultimately this isn't completely my fault, people just arent used to that. I am learning more and more as I go. One thing I am really having trouble getting used to is compliments. I am terrible at receiving things. I really wish I could be the bubbly positive person everyone wants me to be but thats just not who I am. I cant ignore the big picture. Its tough work being me but I don't know anyone else who does it quite like me.

So there is my 23rd year of life. Its been insane, hard, encouraging, and exhausting but I cant trade it so ill take it and make it the best I can!

Aspect of faith: Obedience through suffering

"In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered. And being made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him, being designated by God a high priest after the order of Melchizedek."-Hebrews 5:7-10


"Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him. But we see him who for a little while was made lower than the angels, namely Jesus, crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone."-Hebrews 2:8-9

Three things are sitting on my heart today, three things that I hope will aid us in the realization of the world we live in and just how faithful the God we serve truly is. Those three things are faith, suffering, and obedience. All of these aspects are essentially 1 in the same. Suffering is something we tend to shy away from but it is also to be an expectation of the believer. Non-believers have no problem realizing that life is not a walk in the park, so how it any different for a Christian who now hold the standards or righteousness and holiness? Maybe it is the lack there of ... maybe we are convinced that we are saved and thats it? This would certainly be an odd idea to Jesus(Matthew 24:13), and for the Apostle Paul who constantly had the voicing in his writings, and expectant vision of a future justification.(1 Corinthians 1:18; 15:2; 2 Corinthians 2:15; 2 Timothy 2:11-13) Despite differences on the issue of salvation I just want to get your wheels spinning and I want to keep the focus on the topic, and ultimate question of "What does that faith look like?"

One of the most powerful ways that Christ is magnified is in His people, more specifically, is when they realize that faith in Christ looks like obedience to Christ through suffering. Often times we encounter churches that are full of people who want to serve Christ but not at the expense of anything like their pride, or their comfort. Instead, we put the focus of donating money to this group or that group so that this select group of "called" individuals can get their hands dirty, we can stay comfy, and every body wins ... right? Certainly, giving is an act of obedience, my worry is that this obedience is a cover for fear. 

In the book of Hebrews chapter 5 we learn that Christ "learned obedience through suffering AND, being made perfect became the source of salvation for all who obey Him." In Hebrews 2 we also learn that Jesus was "crowned with glory and honor because of the suffering of death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone." Its important that we allow this reality to set in because there is a bit of a shell shock happening here for most people in the western church! Because of Jesus' obedience to suffer death for us He was in fact able to taste death. The really awesome part in this death is that there is a promised resurrection. Paul says in Romans, "Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his."-Romans 6:3-5

Live with Christ, die with Christ, resurrect with Christ, reign with Christ. Paul, in his letter to the Philippians compares the value of all things to the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus ... he finds that anything less than that is rubbish!


"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."-Philippians 3:8-11

"This is evidence of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering"-2 Thessalonians 1:5

     -The interesting thought here is that the evidence of God's righteous judgement is that they may even be considered worthy ... and all the while they are suffering for this faith that is to be counted to them as righteousness. Thats a little humbling to say the least.

"Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel"-2 Timothy 1:8-10

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."-Romans 5:1-5


"For the promise to Abraham and his offspring that he would be heir of the world did not come through the law but through the righteousness of faith. For if it is the adherents of the law who are to be the heirs, faith is null and the promise is void. For the law brings wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression. That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all, as it is written, “I have made you the father of many nations”—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist. In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, “So shall your offspring be.” He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” But the words “it was counted to him” were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification."-Romans 4:13-25

When you address a topic such as this you ultimately find yourself looking at the doctrine of Justification. The view is that we are justified by faith alone but some complications are brought to light when verses like James 2:24-26 are brought into contrast. Despite the contextualization of the verses used to verify each side of the argument we are ultimately in agreement that apart from Christ we can do nothing, and none of us can save ourselves from judgement. The question we are asking is "What does that that justifying faith look like?" A major aspect of that faith is our obedience through suffering! Hope this gives you something to chew on today. Remember, I am not expert of justification, Pauline Epistles, or contextualization of scripture. I am just a thirsty disciple who does what he can with what he's got.

#endure

Merely driftwood!

Lately I have been hammering out some great analogies. Nothing was premeditated they just came to me. I have found that my mind works best when I am mad or upset, even my creativity takes a step in a positive direction. Also, as of late, I have been spending time alone, not pursuing anyone, or anything, other than God. I have a tendency to get really irritable if I don't take time to hear from Him. I guess that when you have lived a life like mine, encountered the people I have encountered, seen what I have seen, you tend to ask yourself a lot of questions. However, I am not one to sit around in the dark about things. I must find answers, I must find peace. Sometimes, peace comes without an answer. But it is peace nonetheless.

In a previous life I was a drifter, and rightfully so by many standards. To say that for the first leg of this journey started off in unfamiliar, uncharted waters would not be an understatement, as the viewpoint through which this whole adventure if viewed is by way of the driftwood, he knows nothing of deep, dark, mysterious water. His prior life in the forrest had consisted of solid, firm, and planted realities. But, through his love of simplicity he is caught off guard by an outside force that strips him of what he thinks he knows, he understands, and he values. He is then thrown into the watery, not so placid, mysterious abyss. Here he is with met and engulfed in the arms of uncertainty, he cant see to the bottom of things, he is therefore at war with an enemy much bigger than himself, much more powerful than anything he has encountered previously. A devilish foe of old ...

This journey is against his will for if he had had a choice in this matter he would not have chosen to be overcome with such horror, doubt, and uncertainty. Maybe that is the problem with so many of us? We choose not to suffer, we choose to be left alone to the comforts of our proverbial "hedge". He constantly has his back turned on where he is actually headed ... he drifts further and further away from what he knows to be home but never takes his eyes of what is familiar to him. He is too frightened to look at where he is going, he would rather look at where he has been. Who would subject themselves to such things? And, for a season he drifts to and fro struggling to keep his head above water. But, one day through many struggles, through much exhaustion, he finds himself looking upon a new shore and a new frontier, rather, a new way of things. But, by now his very essence is both water logged, and numb to this new and, what would be considered an exciting splash of an expanded horizon, could this be the relative clarity he had been in search of since being thrown into such uncertainty? Unfortunately, he is now a pessimist, who above all else has been baptized in skepticism. Trust is a thing of the past ... and though looking back upon the waters he has now crossed he knows that that past is a distant one. Fear takes hold of him and he realizes that even if he should choose to return to the place from whence he came he would not even know the way back. So here he is, and if he chooses, here he shall remain, for to him there no going back. Is there a forward? Is there a present? He does not know ... he just knows there is no going back!

He splashes around these foreign banks attempting to see onto dry land. He is not certain that this new land in fact holds his deliverance. He toys with the idea of leaving the familiar waters to lay his head on solid ground but is, like I said before, not one of easy trust. Despite the motivation of the waves and the pull of the tide he is reluctant to venture on. However, one day he is all of the sudden swept up by a fishing net and amongst the calamity and splish splashing he indeed finds himself starring into the eyes of a fisherman. He does not recognize him by name but there is something of this man that is familiar.

The fisherman takes this war torn chunk of wood and allows him to dry out, he eases his yoke(if you will) and begins to purge the poor driftwood of his burdens little by little. Through time in fellowship he develops a trust for the fisherman, though he is still uncertain as to the overwhelming since of familiarity he has with this fisherman. But, nonetheless the trust grows, it takes shape! Ironically, little by little, so does driftwood. He allows his new friend to clean him up and strip him of his previous life at sea. Driftwood, begins to see himself in a new, yet distant light ... in fact, it is himself that he finds himself looking back at! Only it is a long forgotten man from before! Before he was known as driftwood. With this veil now lifted from his soul he can now see that he was never intended to be driftwood, though thats only what he could see when he saw himself ... driftwood. After a good bit of shock he finds the eyes of the fisherman ...

What he sees is frightful ... yet, it is wonderfully inviting. Driftwood, finds himself looking his maker in the eyes. What he once thought was merely a simple fisherman he now finds a new and eternal hope in. Through his journey he finds that it was in fact his pursuit of where he had been that was keeping him from where he was going. The fisherman was in front of him the whole time! For this he is thankful, always! The fisherman begins to tell of how He had been with him always, how His love never fainted, and how He jealousy sought him despite his resilience. It was the words of the fisherman that cut the deepest, deeper than any uncharted waters. Though the world looks at him and sees a jagged shard of wood, the fisherman sees a tree planted by streams of water whose fruit does not wither, but prospers. Driftwood now spends his days working along side the fisherman to rescue drifters from the deep, dark, and cold unknown. Seeking remnant's of a long, lost, and yet, present community.

I am driftwood! Though, I do not drift anymore.

"Since we have such a hope, we are very bold, not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end. But their minds were hardened. For to this day, when they read the old covenant, that same veil remains unlifted, because only through Christ is it taken away. Yes, to this day whenever Moses is read a veil lies over their hearts. But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."-2 Corinthians 4:12-18

I don't know if any of you have seen a salt water driftwood bonfire. It will emit sparks that are accompanied by blue and green flames ... Remnants of a previous life that have now been set ablaze to show their present glory. Reminds me of a John Wesley quote:

"When God sets a man on fire, people will show up to watch him burn"