Gender bender ...

My hope for this blog is that it will become a vessel for conversation- by conversation I mean exactly that. What I am about to propose in this blog may hit people in an odd spot but for the most part it is a conviction of mine that I am only going to vaguely paint for you- and I will be using very broad strokes in so doing. There is faith and reason on the one hand and in the other we find imagination and emotion on the other ... the tricky part is find a bridge between the 2 so that they become coterminous, where it is appropriate, while retaining separate where is it necessary also.

*disclaimer* DO NOT assume that I am pointing a finger, rather, I am trying to become more clear on this topic and would love your involvement. Lets seek truth together.

It is my conviction that, for the most part, based off of what I know, the sort of theology that is being taught to young men and women, in relationship to the opposite sex, on either a cordial or an intimate level, is harmful because it seems to be dissonant on a pretty elementary level and its surprising to see the amount of passivity towards it.

Let me explain ...

I have heard many women portray both the "men and women are equal" and "men are the leaders" ideology in the same conversations. I will admit that when discussing this topic there is, to a degree, a bit of ambiguity. But, I am not so certain that this "cognitive dissonance" is without blemish and can remain innocent. And this isn't even my point ...

The cognitive dissonance within this topic takes yet another step in an unhealthy and ambiguous direction when it says that "the perfect man looks like Jesus" ...

Let me explain ...

The goal of submission to Jesus' Lordship is for us to bear God's image as Christ did- the Bible gives us multiple examples of this "divine image"- for by so doing we reflect the Kingdom of God and participate in the establishment of that Kingdom in the here and now.

1. I am uncomfortable knowing that women say "the perfect man looks like Jesus" as this seems to ignore the fact that we are all called, as followers of Christ, to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily, put off the old self, discern good from evil, etc. We are ALL called to reflect God's image.

2. From this standpoint, and from my interactions with multiple females on this topic, I am noticing that in our society we believe that women represent purity and by so assuming this we become enamored by the cultural assumption that women are pure and innocent. Is this true? ...

Given these 2 variables (foundational variables as they are so taught) I think the tension is becoming clear. Men are taught to be Christ-like (roughly) and women are taught to find Christ-like men. Two problems arise in my thought process immediately: 1. Men are taught to pursue Holiness (some form of pseudo morality leadership amplification program rather) while women, as it is the cultural assumption, are already there by default (enter the pure and innocent generalization towards women) ... I don't believe anyone is pure and innocent. 2. Men are finding value and life in the females acknowledgement to their "Christ-likeness" ... I think these ideals lack grace and humility too an unnerving degree and, by enforcing this theology, both men and women have both become, and made others into idols- this includes both genders. Example: I know of one female who will not marry a man who is not a virgin (???) We live in a society that chooses to pursue God through things rather than going directly to God- it sort of spits on the face of Christ sacrifice if you think about it. I don't like this model because it is way to easy for guys to get hurt and for girls to walk away unscathed and as pure as ever, it also eliminates the part of relationships that is co-labor-some- how do you serve someone when the focus on you being served? . How do we urge young women in that same direction if they are already under the assumption that they represent purity and innocence? In the context of Ephesians 5, Paul speaks of marriage as a means of sanctification- a means of holiness, a process. Are we actually hurting ourselves when we have been taught that this is how we are to protect ourselves?

"Sanctification- the state of being sanctified. The state of growing in divine grace as a result of Christian commitment after baptism or conversion."-Mirriam-Webster

My vision of leadership is not the same as the "flag-ship" or the "reconnaissance" model that so many men and women hold to. I envision the covenant of marriage working best from a side by side model ... not one in front of the other with one leading the way. We are called to participate in the establishment of the Kingdom together, as one!

Again, please remember that the strokes by which I am painting this much broader picture are very broad themselves ... if need be I can clarify things further. But, id enjoy hearing for you.

Thoughts?