Only a man

I had fair warning from a dear friend that this was a powerful song. I came to a moment when I needed to be reminded of my position in all of this mess, and I say "mess" with full conviction that it is exactly that, a mess. I usually don't cry, not because I am "too tough for all that", I just usually hold my water ducts pretty well ... but lately I haven't had much luck keeping my composure. Amongst all of the other strife I endure on a daily basis I have just been under the wheel lately. First it was a sermon I heard about a boy with autism (I found that I had a lot in common with this kid), second it was hearing that a friend of mine took his own life (he wasn't a believer and that was sort of the fulcrum of our relationship, he had questions and I would always do my best to help him find clarity), and now this song. Im learning as I go, its not easy. In my attempts to help I usually end up rearranging the present messes. My mom used to get on to me as a kid because when I went to clean the house I just shoved everything into draws, closets, boxes ... well, I guess I am learning that lesson all over again. 


Only a man ...


I used to live my life in fear
Was worried all the time
From waking up to laying down
I had no peace of mind
The world became a darkened place
A struggle without end
Although bitter times those were
The days that I had began to understand
I was only a man

I grew up singing songs in church
With questions in my mind
Then turned my back and ran away
From God who gave me life
Then one night his presence fell
I wept and shook and then
I fell down and cried, Dear Jesus, rescue me again
I understand I am only a man

And He said, What will it be now?
Will you choose me or keep swimming up stream now?
I've been inside your head hearing you scream out.
Well here I am, just take my hand and I'll take out 
All of the pain and all of the fear
All of the fear

I'll give you my burdens (I'll give you peace)
All of my desires (I'll give you what you need)
Oh, what about these chains, Lord? (I'll set you free)
But they're so heavy (Lay them at my feet)
I'll lay them at your feet
Just promise you won't leave (I'll never leave)
So where do I go from here, Lord? (Just follow me)
(Just follow me)
I'll follow you (Just follow me) wherever you lead
Wherever you lead, wherever you lead


-Jonny Lang